Elisa and her bright shadow
by Neda-Ed
Summary: Love is a beautiful thing, you won't realize it until you fall for someone, fall in that great abyss from which you can never arise. . This story is of a girl whose father left her for another woman and she finds love in someone she shouldnt have but she loses everything when all she did was hope for a better future. All human.
1. Chapter 1

/the story and the character belong to nobody but me.

Some people believe that life is perfect even with its flaws and some people don't exactly agree with them but to me, life is something we must cherish and reflect upon every moment of our lives but it ceases to mean anything when you have nobody to live for. Love is a beautiful thing, you won't realize it until you fall for someone, fall in that great abyss from which you can never arise.

The bell rang indicating the end of the day and i sighed in relief and frustration-relief because i hated being in school and frustration because i have tons of homework. I'm a junior in high school, very famous but least liked. Kids younger to me loved me but the ones in my batch, well they don't exactly like me simply because I insist on being me.I dont like to have friends because i dont like to gossip. I believe in personal space, i dont like it when people talk about me without me knowing about it and im very sure that people would want their spaces respected as well. I speak to everyone and all the students and teachers speak to me, when i need them or when they need me.

Everybody is talking at their lockers and i just want to get out of there. I dont know why but i just dont like to be surrounded by teens though im a teenager myself. weird, right?

"Hey, Elisa! wait up!", Jack Miller, our school nerd calls out. He maybe a nerd but he's also the cutest guy in school which every girl would love to go out with but he's just not into them because of unfathomable reasons.

"Hey, jack. Whats the matter?"  
"well, i was wondering if you'd like to come to Alaska. I hear that its a wondeful place with so many resorts. You like to ski as well so it ought to be a perfect getaway and I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Ryan and Lexi are coming too. My parents are taking care of the expenses". He seems to have taken a long breadth, i mean who can say so many words without pausing to take a deep breadth.

"I'd love to, Jack, but i can't and i dont want to. You know how i like to stay at home and just curl under the duvet with a book and some good background music but you guys have fun. When are you going anyway?" i actually didn't want to ask him but after seeing his disappointment, i couldnt just leave him there.

"in two weeks". he smiled though it didnt reach his eyes and i know that i'd hurt another good friend of mine. It wasn't his fault but I didn't wanna talk about it.

"Well, have a safe trip and bring me something from up there" i tried to smile but im sure he saw the truth underneath all the pretense I seem to carry with me these days.

"Everything will be alright, Elisa. We're here if you need us, all you need to do is just accept our attempts at trying to cheer has been over a year since your dad left and you need to get over it." He pulled me into a hug, the hug which makes your insides melt, not romantically but from pain.

I swallowed, i'd promised that i wouldnt cry and i wont, atleast not in public. "Thanks, Jack and I'll be fine, really, i just need some more time" I pat his back before stepping away with a smile plastered to my face."I gotta go, have lots of homework"

"I'll catch you soon, Elisa"

"bye, jack"

I took a surprisingly short time to reach home, I'm so used to walking in the rain, the last few months that i'm getting really good at it. My school is not actually far away from home, just 2 miles and though my car sits outside by the curb, i don't want to drive it. It reminds of my last few days with my dad. He taught me to drive when i was just in 4th grade and i wanted to be a car racer back then but it changed when he left, when mom got over-protective, and i just didnt wanna enter the car which contains so many happy memories that i hold very close to my heart. Those memories are not meant to be marred by loneliness and loss.

Mom wasnt back from work when i reached home, she thinks that Jack drops me maybe not. When i told her that Jack was gonna drop and pick me from school, she didnt seem to approve but then she just said it was fine and that i should carry my phone at all times. Sometimes i think that she knows the truth, she knows that i need this and so just lets me go. But i didnt want her to worry over me so we have this unsaid deal. I send her a message whenever i reach home or school.

After grabbing a few cookies that my mum had made 2 nights ago, I sit in front of my laptop, a white sony vaio- w series, its actually a netbook. I start typing my english essay on the Brutus' speech which took me nearly an hour to type; when it seemed perfect, i got it printed and put it in my folder before turning my attention to biology. I sigh heavly as i lift the book and place it on my study table. As i start studying, the rain begins to hit my window heavily and i sigh now in dismay. why does one's day get worse when its bad already?

After 2 hours and 52 painful minutes i look up from my textbook. I'd just heard my mom's car pull in and i liked to acknowledge her arrival every night. I ran down the stairs quickly and saw my mum coming in.

"Hey, mom, how was work?" I kiss her cheek as i take her coat.  
"it was good, my Elisa. how was school, dear?"  
"It was fine, i guess"  
"good. Now, are you gonna help your mom cook or do you have to study?"  
"You already know the answer, mom" I smile widely at her. Sometimes she seems to be the real reason i exist.

After a long and heavy supper, we retire to bed and as i raise the covers to get into bed, my eyes are filled with tears again and this time, i dont even know why. I just dont want my mum to leave me, ever. She loves me and i love her.  
I'll never love anyone again.

I didnt know how wrong i was until i went to school the next day.

Chapter 2..

The alarm blared, waking me up. After hitting the top of it, i yawn and roll over to the edge of the bed before i get up and go to the restroom to do my routine for personal hygiene.

After putting on my favorite black straight jeans, a red button up shirt and black converse, I grab my black hoodie and go downstairs to have breakfast with mom. I could smell the toast and i grin at mom when i enter the kitchen.  
"Hey, , again?"  
she smiled right back at me."Would you rather have beef?" she teased.  
I've been a vegetarian all my life and i took nothing but toast for breakfast. mom used to make all the delicacies of the world so that i could eat something else but i just couldn't have enough of toasts.  
"nah, I'd rather have my toast" I say as i head for the refrigerator to fetch some orange juice for us.

We eat our breakfast in comfortable silence in front of the TV, watching news. Once we're done, i grab my backpack,phone and house keys and wait for her to giving me a quick kiss on the cheek, she leaves.

After 10 minutes, I'm outside of my house, facing the rainless, but not sunny, day, after nearly 2 months. It rains or atleast drizzles all the time here in Port Angeles. I pull out my ipod and put it on shuffle mode before i put on my headphones. Listening to music makes walking 2 miles easier.

I open my locker and stuff the jacket at the bottom which i had brought just in case it started raining, homework and the other books i'd taken the earlier day to sudy, onto the first shelf. I grab my notebook and books that i'd need for the day. I didnt like to come to my locker often, it just makes people approach you. AP French is my first class and i just loved the language.

The day progressed slowly. After french I had physics and then AP english. Mr. Danker, my english teacher, said he was leaving the state in a few days because he got a better offer on the east coast and that he was going to be replaced by someone from Alaska who was actually very brillaint and so we wouldn't have any trouble with the subject. It seemed to me that he was trying to not make us disappointed. is the best teacher and I don't think anybody can replace him...Or atleast thats what i thought.  
But what shocked us the most was that he said that the new teacher would be here today to just look around the school but he would start teaching from !  
I won't be seeing again, none of us would.  
With that thought, a pain started from inside. Even non-relatives of mine had to leave me. Was this my fate or was it just a game, the game in which God always ended up being happy while I suffered, not even having a shoulder to cry on.  
I swallowed back my tears and averted my eyes so that i wont think of it again. It was his life, i can't stop anyone from leaving me and he'd have a great life out there, on the east coast than in this dull west coast where it was so gloomy.  
As it was his last day here, he left us free. I started doodling on my notebook and as soon as the bell rang i fled the room. It was lunch and i was not hungry. I go to the bleachers because it was not raining and i wanted to be alone.

I pull out my iphone again and listen to music while looking at the line of the trees at the end of the parking lot. While i was sitting there, trying not to think anything but just listen to music, I saw a black Audi A7 enter. I was intrigued. Who had an Audi A7 in this place? There were a few BMWs and Saabs in the parking lot but Audi? No. but it was not the car that grabbed my attention, it was the way whoever was inside drove. Usually one can find grace in one's stride but i was absolutely enthralled by the way he turned the vehicle around the corner and parked it in a narrow space with ease. my dad was someone who could do that without breaking a sweat.

After a few seconds, he got out. He was that insanely handsome man who had such a good physique that would make women swoon. He was wearing black jeans and a white formal shirt. He had a black messenger bag slung over one of his shoulder and one of his hands were in his pocket. He was very pale though, i could see that even from here or maybe it was just because he was wearing dark clothes. He seemed like he worked out and was definitely taller than Jack. He couldnt have been over 25 but what was he doing here? was he a brother of some student here?  
The bell rings indicating that i had an hour of history awaiting me in block 5, so i quickly make my way to my class forgetting about that Adonis of a stranger.


	2. chapter 2

As i make my way to gym, I see him again but this time he's carrying lots of paper and as i walked nearer to him i could see that it was our school map. Was he a student? but that's in no way possible! And did i tell you that he's surrounded by a few seniors, all of them were girls. I sigh, show the new kid some respect, you guys will have plenty of time to ogle him.I really wanted to roll my eyes but that was not something i could do, especially not when they were about to cross me. He seemed to be at ease though, smiling at them often but he didnt seem taken aback or uncomfortable which if i'd been him wouldhave surely felt. But who was he?

As the end of the school day approaches, I find myself more than eager to leave. I hadnt eaten during lunch and now i wanted some food in my system before i fainted from temporary malnutrition. I grab just the books which i'll need to do homework and leave before anybody notices me because i was not in a mood to talk but to vanish.

It had rained while i was at school and i was trying not to stick my foot in any puddle and with Eminem and rihanna screaming in my ears i didnt realize that someone was calling me from right beside me. I turn around to meet the bright green eyes of the new guy...what does he want? I frown at him, not knowing what to say.  
"Hey, I'm Edgar Dan, I saw you a few times at JHS high. Do you need a lift?"  
I just stare at him, my pulse quickening, he had a wonderful voice but what surprised me was, why was he bothered?

"Well, thanks for the offer, Edgar, but I'm fine"  
he smiled amusedly and i wonder why..  
"well, ok then. you are Miss..?"  
He asked you a question so move your lips!  
"hm oh you can call me Elisa and its a pleasure to meet you"  
Very nice, pleasantries now?  
"Pleasure is mine, Elisa, I'll see you at school tomorrow"  
"bye"

He drove past me before i even put my headphones back into my ears. well he's probably thinking you're a total loser with a glitch in your brain, Perfect.

When i reached home, i changedmy cthes, did some home work, spoke to my mum when she came later that evening, had supper with her while watching tv and went back upstairs to take a shower before i fell into deep slumber after taking some pills for sleep. My mom got me those because after he..I couldnt sleep and i was becoming delirious during the days so she got me a doc who prescribed me those pills.

Chapter 3..  
I reached school earlier because mom left early and i didnt wanna stay at home alone. I was walking in the corridor, on my way to my locker, when i heard him.  
"Good morning, Elisa"  
"Good morning, Edgar." I didnt turn around because I'd reached my locker.  
"which grade are you in?  
After doing the combination lock, i turn to look at him and i couldnt take my eyes from his face. He's such an attractive guy.  
"I'm a senior, what about you?"  
He smiled that mysterious, amused smile which i was starting to love. Wait, love? I'm a total desperate loser!  
"you'll know that soon"  
I frown, not really knowing what i should really say to that.  
I finally nod because he wasn't saying anything else but he was just looking at me as if trying to guage my reaction for such a discrete answer.  
"So I've never seen you here before, where are you from?" I've been dying to ask him that because such attractive guys don't come from around here.  
"I'm from Alaska, I moved here because my family and i prefer to live in a remote place and my dad got an offer in the hospital here", he said looking into my eyes.  
His eyes look bottomless, is the even possible..? why's he staring at me, oh he's waiting for some kind of comment!  
"Oh...uh..do you have any siblings?"  
He grinned, "Yep, two, an elder bro, he's happily married and he's also a doc, he got a job here as well and my sister, she's a senior here like you"  
"senior like me? so what are you, a sophomore?" I grin at him. He changes my mood so easily.  
"Oh, not at all, I'm a very mature and respected guy"  
"sure, sure. whats your first class?"  
He grinned again, sticking his hand into his pocket "English, yours?"  
"French. Well, have a wonderful first day, I'll catch you around"  
"You, too. I can't wait to see you again." He raised his hand as if he wanted to touch my cheek but lowered it frowning, as if he just realised something and he looked hurt.  
"hey,are you ok? you just look pained. Do you need to go to the nurse. i can take you, if you wa-" i was babbling now, concerned and he cut me off, shaking his head.  
"Don't worry about it, have a good day, Elisa", he left without turning around again. Did I do something wrong? oh well, i'm just not someone whom everybody likes but i thought he liked me...as a friend, at least.  
After physics, i went to my locker to collect my books before heading for my english class. We had a break for 15 minutes after the second period so nobody was still there when i entered the class...except Edgar.  
"Hey,Edgar. How is your first day so far?" I smiled going to my desk.  
"Good, thank you" he was not even looking at me now. I must have really done something to upset him.  
"Did i do something wrong?"  
"NO! why would you think that?"  
"I just..I thought we could be friends but i dont know what i did earlier to-"  
Suddenly the door opened cutting me off. Jessica and her entourage entered.  
"Good morning, professor", Jessica said."I've heard so much about you already"  
She continued to speak but i couldnt hear her, all i could hear was the word professor. He's my professor. He's my teacher. I looked down not wanting to have him look at my face.  
They were talking and jessica and her gang were undressing him in their heads, it was very obvious and i tried to forget that and control my breathing. Breathe in, breathe out.  
After a few minutes, the class was full.  
"Good morning, guys and girls. My name is Edgar Danker. You can call me Edgar because I'm not that old, just 23 and i'd love to be your friend than a teacher. You can come to me for any help and i'm willing to help. I already learnt a few of your names but nonetheless today we'll do the introductions. I want each of you to stand up one after the other and tell me your name and one thing about yourself."  
The class started murmuring excitedly knowing that we wont be having class today and i just sighed and opened my binder and started doodling just feeling miserable. I felt like i was going to puke, my hair was down and i was looking down as well so nobody could see my face.  
I didnt realize it when it was my turn until Jack who sits behind me poked my shoulder and i jolted looking up at Edgar, he was looking at me, waiting for me to introduce myself as if he didn't know me. He doesnt want others to know that he knows me otherwise he'd have just called out my name to pull me out of my reverie.  
I stood up and tucked my hair behind my ear.  
"I'm Elisa. I like being left alone"  
the class snickered and i sat down immediately.  
I was surprised when he spoke to me though "Elisa, are you alright? you look too pale"  
I raised my head slightly "I'm fine, sir, thank you" and I hope i don't puke now, i didnt say that though.  
"so why do you like to be left alone,Elisa?"  
Was he trying to make me cry and faint in the middle of the class?  
I meekly shrugged keepin my eyes down "Everybody is going to hurt you so i prefer being left alone"  
I didnt look up to see his expression but i heard what zac said "She's weird, Edgar. You should stay clear of her" the entire class started murmuring and laughing except a few who are my friends, only i hadn't spoken to them in a long time.  
Tears sprung to my eyes and my throat felt constricted. I started doodling again. He spoke then and the class became quiet but i wasn't paying attention. I blinked quickly , not wanting to spill my tears in front of everyone.  
When the bell rang, i tried to leave quickly but he called me and asked if he could have a word with me. I just went to his table and stood in front of him while a few girls were standing there already talking to him flirtatiously. After he dismissed them, he turned to me.  
"Elisa, I-"  
"Its ok, professor Danker." I felt my heart being ripped open and i coudnt contol my tears anym0re. I let them fall. Everything that hurt me since the day he left, all the pain and grief that i'd held inside of me found its way out and i didnt wanna be seen crying and weak and that just made me cry harder. I was such a wimp.  
"Elisa! please, I'm so sorry. I-"  
I cut him off again "Its not your fault, sir, please, i need to go, have a good day, sir"  
i ran out of the class, literally, before he could say anything. I usually keep my hoodie in my bag so i pulled it out, put it on and pulled up the hood and ran to the restroom. It was free and i started crying, letting all my tears fall down my cheek and wet my shirt. I looked miserable, no wonder he didnt want to be nice. I was not pretty, far from that. I had a flabby stmach and thighs but i dont think my shirt showed that out because it was lose but my thighs, they are thick and you can see that clearly. my hair was a mess, it usually is, especially after the walk to school but i never bothered ntil today. My eyes had sacks but they were not very prominent and my bloodshot eyes made me look like a devil because my eye color is green..dark olive green. I felt like i was the ugliest girl in school.  
I stayed there crying for a long time inside a cubicle where i had fallen asleep gradually and i didnt even realize it until my head wobbled and my neck hurt. I pulled out my phone and saw that i'd already missed all the classes except the last which was gym which had already begun and i wasn't ready for sports so i decided to stay there. I went to the mirror and washed my face. I fixed my hair and pinched my cheeks to get some color. I looked so pale...like i was dead.  
i just took a few deep breaths, took my things and went out. I still had around 10 minutes for the final bell to ring so i went to my locker making sure nobody was there and took whatever i needed and left the ones i didnt need, fastened the lock and went to the library to hide. You never know who might catch you in the corridor and i didnt wanna be punished for skipping 4 classes today.  
When i entered the library, there was nobody but the librarian who understood what i felt because what hapened to me, it happened to her as well but we hardly talk about that, we've only spoken about it once. She looked a little appalled from looking at me from behind her desk but i just shaked my head and gave her a small smile before escaping into the english section where, to my greatest horror, i saw him seated on one of the stools just when i thought i'd make my escape he saw me and he looked shocked  
"Elisa, were you crying?"  
"No, professor. I was just..i..I was just rubbing my eyes"  
He came closer and looked down at me. He ran his hand in his tousled beautiful hair and sighed.  
"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to bother you, I'll...I'll just leave."  
"No, wait. why don't we just talk about this?"  
"There's nothing to talk about, sir"  
"please just call me Edgar like you used to."  
"I respect my teachers, professor, so i'd rather not and this is an environment where formailty is to be practised so i'd better not"  
He sighed "Listen, Elisa, I wasn't-"  
I cut him off for what seemed like the hundredth time "Please, I understand and don't worry i won't tell anybody that i was the first person you spoke to and all that and draw attention. I'm sure you dont want people knowning that you spoke to an ugly social retard like myself, i get it and i will act accordingly"  
"Elisa, thats not what i'm talking about and i dont mind if people come to know that we spoke and you're neither of that so stop this and let's talk about this, please"  
"Tell me what the point is? I mean, Edgar, sorry, professor Danker, this is nothing. you didn't even lie to me or anything. "This is my over reacting part taking over me. so just dont mind me"  
"so...thats all?"  
"there was nothing to begin with so what you just said doesn't make any sense."  
"Fine. This is what you want and this is the way its supposed to be." I just stared at him. what was i expecting? him to fight for me until his last breadth? my own father didnt. I just smiled slightly and nodded before i left.


End file.
